My brother Wayne, better known as Ming, celebrated and loved life. In his search, he relished the wisdom of the ancients with the depth of his love for Christ. What matters, he would say to me, "is how much you love." He was a gentle soul who harbored no grudges against anyone. He believed in family and enjoyed his brothers, cousins and friends. Mingie, as I affectionately called him, was the 4th of 5 brothers born to Kong and Angela in Trinidad. I remember the day he was born, a skinny baby who fought for life and as my mother would later tell me, "he was a survivor!" He was his father's favorite son, a Chinaman who taught him the values he cherished in life. Ming considered himself a Creole-Chinese who did not like injustice and any kind of racial or ethnic prejudice. He was fiercely proud of the diversity of his Chinese, European, African and Native American heritage. I will miss him tremendously. Words are totally incapable of capturing our loss. We mourn his death and a future without the one we love. In the preface of the Catholic liturgy, these words are echoed: "Lord, for your faithful people life is changed not ended when the body of our earthly dwelling lies in death, we gain an everlasting dwelling place in heaven."
Of all Gospel stories, Ming liked the one of the alluring Samaritan woman at the well who caught Jesus' attention. Totally overwhelmed by him, the Samaritan woman who came to collect water at the well, leaves her water jar at the feet of Jesus. He said he liked this story because it made Jesus real. He thought he was "the man" and tried to emulate him. My young brother, indeed, was a charmer and many fell for his wit and intelligence. His thirst for knowledge was never diluted. He appreciated the concept of living waters of his God. In the story, we learn the Samaritan forgets the water, her jars and runs into the town proclaiming good news. Ming loved her enthusiasm, her savoir vivre. Many have spoken of my brother's joyful spirit for his family, the Church where he imbibed the devout nature of his mother's faith and for Trinidad and his adopted country America. He was involved in a wide variety of activities that never seemed to dim his light.
Ming had what his Spanish people call, "duende." It means, "a raw, tempestuous energy, a vulnerability to inspiration, an original, a contempt for neat, tidy categories, a struggle for genuine freedom." Such men and women who have "duende" can light up any room. They come into your midst and you notice them immediately. I think the best American translation I have heard, is "he got fire underneath his butt!" That charisma is a gift from God and rarely comes our way! An individual is always touched by the love with which such persons do things. In the words of St. Teresa of Avila, "The Lord does not look so much at the magnitude of anything we do as at the love with which we do it!" And that was Mingie! He did things small and great with great love. Think how carefully he wrapped Christmas gifts! With "duende" comes humor! He would tell the most sour joke with gleeful enthusiasm. He loved to make women laugh and it began when he was a teenager, entertaining our Mother whenever he could. Through the joys and sorrows of his life, humor never left him. Jesus reminds us: ".. my own joy may be in you and may your joy be complete .." Enthusiasm, a joyful spirit, an ability to endure sorrow with a smile, a positive attitude summed up Ming. Joy is a byproduct of happiness and it is spiritual. It comes from God, an optimism for life, come happiness, come sorrow. Ming was blessed with this joyful spirit.
Not many of us will have "duende," that unique ability to light up a room but we can all aspire to have joy in our lives. And for his example, I am grateful for my beloved brother.
A special note to the doctors/nurses and hospital staff that cared for my brother. Thank you. Most of all, I want to thank his Renee as pictured above for the love and care you shared with him. Together you made perfect photos. May God give you the strength and courage you need in the weeks, months ahead. Our family sends our love and affection.
Eternal rest grant upon him ... May he rest in peace.
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