"Memento mori" "Gratitude" and "Bravery" on Memorial Day

"Memento mori" ["Remember death!"]

Memorial Day will soon be upon us. Up North, people visit their cemeteries and remember the dead, especially those who served in our wars. In the South, the month of November is

traditionally honored as a time of memorial. The weather plays an integral part of this day. November here can be bitterly cold. Memorial Day is perfect. I have given a number of Memorial Day addresses in small communities in North Dakota. The privilege was all mine, reaffirming the dreams and hopes of so many who gave their lives in two World Wars, from Gettysburg and Bull Run, San Juan Hill, Corregidor, Inchon, Khe Sanh, Somalia, Iraq to Afganistan. We will  gather to show solidarity, to express our gratitude and our love to those thousands of men and women who gave their lives, some their youth, to the very ideals we so highly value: "freedom, democracy, human rights!"

   In my monastic tradition, there is a practice of greeting one

another with the words: "Memento mori! ["Remember death!]

I also grew up hearing my mother speak about death constantly, having lost both parents at a very early age. We visited our grandparents' graves at least twice a month. Mother would pray her rosary while we five boys kept quiet as long as we could and then, began playing on the tombstones of the Laperouse cemetery in Port-of-Spain.

    Having lived in both north and south of the United States, I have had the opportunity to see how different Americans honor their dead. Most customs are similar. "Respect" is the key word. We choose simply not to forget "memory." Normally memory wants to discard what is painful; it does not want to remember pain. But in choosing not to forget, to remember, we pay homage to our brave soldiers, our veterans and our loved ones. Strange enough, I also remember having 'fun' visiting the graves of our grandparents. From the melted candles around us, we five boys would make 'candle balls' and play. Mother kept an eye on us so that we did not overdo it. Daddy's Chinese relatives would bring some token of food and leave it for the dead.

   In the Dakotas after graveside Masses and blessing of graves, the local pastor would then join in the town parades. It is also a bittersweet event. We would see former soldiers who would don their dated uniforms and join with rusty steps the full-bodied parades. And when the parades ended, some would line up for photos and it was easy to see that another year had thinned their ranks... as they spoke about their buddies who never returned from such places as Normandy, Tarawa, Sicily, Anzio, Pusan, the Mekong Delta, the Persian gulf, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan.

   Yes: "Memento mori" but hear "Gratitude" and "Bravery".

Be enriched by the sacrifices of others for we are forever in their debt.